• Brian Reaves

You Are Not One Moment!

So many people have such amazing potential for greatness in them but they let one hurdle forever hold them back.


Recently I put together a couple of acts specifically for competing in an upcoming magic convention. I spent weeks learning the routines and perfecting them. I worked on them some nights until I had to quit because I was hurting so bad in my hands from the moves.



The convention came and I performed to the best of my ability. I ended up winning awards for both my performances and I had several people tell me how much they enjoyed what I had done. I was even invited to compete in a national convention coming up a few months later.


One of the judges destroyed my act on paper. He seemed to hate almost everything about it. He gave me an incredibly low score, while the other two judges gave me almost perfect scores. The funny thing is many of the comments he made on parts he hated were mentioned by the other two judges as things they loved about what I'd done.


Being human, I really had a struggle with the negativity and questioned a lot of what I was doing because of this judge's opinions. I finally had to just accept that was his opinion of that moment, but not a reflection of who I was. One performance did not make up the entirety of my career. It was an ego blow to me, but it wasn't meant as a personal attack. He was expressing his opinion just as all of us do.


When someone says something negative to us--especially if it's someone we respect or they are close to us--it can really derail us for a time. It can cause us to doubt who we are and what we do, and even cause us to kill future plans for our life because we no longer believe those dreams are possible. But that is wrong!


Someone's negative opinion of you or of your actions is not a reflection of who you are. It may be a reflection of one moment in your life, one decision that you made, but that isn't necessarily who you are. It is one moment, not your entire life.


Examine what was said to you. Maybe there is something in it that could help you to grow and maybe even a part of it might be a valid criticism. If so, then accept it and try to improve on yourself...but don't dwell on it forever. It is allowed to have a few moments of reflection and a chance for personal growth, but it is not allowed to stay in your mind indefinitely.


If after careful examination, you still don't agree with them about whatever the criticism is (and you have to be brutally honest with yourself at this point), then brush yourself off and keep going. Don't just sit there and stew in the bad comments. Move on!


None of us are perfect and we all have room to grow, but there are also some people out there who thrive on pulling others down to their level. They live to undermine and undercut other people because they just can't reach their heights. Now I'm not saying everyone who offers criticism is out to get you. Sometimes it's their job or they could be right. Take it and change. Always be open to an opportunity to grow (I took what the judge said and tried to find ways to improve my act to something he would enjoy because some of what he had said had merit to me) but never allow negative words to have a permanent place in your mind.


The words are there to reflect one moment and one perspective, but they are not allowed to define who you are! Make it your mission to prove the naysayers wrong!

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