Dean hates conflict. He absolutely hates the idea of confronting someone and possibly losing their friendship, even though they are his employee. As a result, his entire leadership philosophy can be boiled down to this motto: "It'll all work itself out." He constantly turns a blind eye to any problem he doesn't want to face.
He has chronically late employees but says nothing because he doesn't want to rock the boat. He has conflict on his team, but he won't resolve it because he doesn't want to potentially offend anyone. He makes a decision today with an employee, then changes his mind the next day but never tells the employee, hoping someone else will tell them so he doesn't have to face up to his indecisiveness.
Have you ever met anyone like this? An insecure leader who is more interested in being liked than leading? There are three significant problems this type of leader never considers:
1) Being "liked" and "respected" are two entirely different things. These leaders confuse popularity with success, and it's wrong. Have you ever had a friend who meddled in stuff in your life that was none of their business? I think we all have. What happens when they try? We get offended or upset, and we definitely don't consider anything they say. Why? They have overstepped the boundaries in our lives, and we don't respect their opinion. Now, if someone in your life that you have given authority to (a parent, a spouse, a sibling, etc.) tells you something, you may not like it, but you'll listen; you respect them. Liking someone and respecting someone are two different things, so don't ever think that just because someone likes you, they'll automatically listen to you. And when the time comes to exert authority, you have none in their lives because you've always just been the friend and not the boss.
2) Every employee on a team is a direct reflection of the leader. If you let someone get away with something, everyone else sees it and takes it as your compliance in their actions. If Susan is late and you don't say anything, then what's to stop Paul from showing up late in the future? And if you say anything to him, you're going to have to face up to your blind eye toward "your favorites." And by the way, everyone sees it when you ignore someone breaking the rules.
3) Confrontation is inevitable in leadership. Like it or not, there will come times when you have to step in and lead. In the process, you're probably going to upset someone who doesn't get their way, but that's all part of it.
The main problem with Dean's "it'll all work itself out" leadership style isn't that there are no results. Truthfully, every situation works itself out over time. It may take months or even years, but they all do (some in a good way, most in a bad one). Dean lives on the fact that "it all seems to work out" for him. But if you never lead, what makes you irreplaceable to the company? Anyone can stick their head in the sand and let the world go on around them. You become an interchangeable commodity rather than an intricate piece of the puzzle.
Conflict is never fun, but sometimes it's absolutely necessary. The best leaders in the world face times of conflict where they have to step in and lead. It is those moments that define who is in charge and who is just watching the world go by.
Stand strong and lead your team. Sometimes people may be hurt by it, but if you lead with fairness, no one can feel shorted.
P.S. My newest program "Metamorphosis: Transform Your Leadership" is geared toward helping you become the best leader you can be. It's a more in-depth program that is structured toward an extended session, but we can make it work with the time frame of your event. And don't forget to check out the book as well!
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