Use What Works

When I was in high school, I got picked on by Jay. He was merciless in his constant harassment and embarrassment of me, and one day I had all I could take. I found a place in my small town that held weekly martial arts classes and I started taking them.

The class was fun and I immediately took to it, practicing as much as possible. By the time I got my yellow belt, I had a pretty impressive triple kick, where I could kick three times on my way up a person's body. In theory, it was a powerful tool. In theory.

Terry, the state lightweight karate champion, was also in our class, and unfortunately, I was one of the only guys his size. I will never forget the day this yellow belt took on the state lightweight karate champion. I toyed with him at first, then unleashed my secret weapon triple kick for what I thought would be the win. Terry blocked it easily and literally kicked me over a table. Fortunately, the sensei decided it wasn't going to be a fair fight at that point and let me crawl back to my spot by the wall--but for fifteen seconds, I went head-to-head with the champion.

In theory, I had this amazing thing that I was absolutely certain would work. I had practiced it at home against imaginary opponents and won every time, yet when it came time to actually put the theoretical concept in action, it failed miserably. Like Mike Tyson once said, "Everybody has a plan, until they get punched in the face."

Have you ever had a great idea that you were certain would work, and yet when you tried it, nothing seemed to work out right? The evidence is there that you're on the wrong track, and maybe it's obvious to everyone else, but you have to make the ultimate decision. Will you be stubborn and fight for your way even though it's not working, or will you admit you missed this one and it's time to regroup?

Stubborn pride can do us in sometimes. There's a difference between having an idea that needs tweaking and having an idea that has no chance of working. The question is: can you tell the difference and accept it? It might be a blow to the ego to admit you can't do something the way you planned or that you need help from someone, but ultimately, it comes down to whether you want the project to succeed, even if it means you have to change, or you're willing to let it suffer or even fail before being proven wrong.

I did end up getting my black belt in Tae Kwon Do, and eventually was able to work out with Terry without getting kicked over anything. But my triple kick never did take down anyone, though it did win me an award in a forms competition. It was pretty, but not practical, and I learned to accept that and put it in its rightful place in my repertoire.

Maybe your idea has valid possibilities, but not in the current situation you are trying to put it in. Perhaps it's perfect for somewhere down the road on the journey rather than right here. Put it aside if necessary, but keep it in mind for the future.

Fight hard to bury foolish pride. Yes, you should believe in yourself and your ability to do great things, but also be willing to admit when you need help or you've just gone the wrong direction. In the end, you can still count it as a success even if you had to alter your original plans. Is it still a victory when you didn't do it solo? Absolutely. When the organization succeeds, you succeed as well.

P.S. By the way, Jay stopped picking on me when he found out I was taking classes, and we actually became friends through high school. And thirty years later, Terry and I ran into each other in town, and we were still laughing at that kick that sent me flying.